


Bad Idea

by hisluckylady



Series: Do You Love Me? [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Death, Canon Season 8 Ending, Comfort Sex, F/M, First Time, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Lance is sad, Minor allurance on Lance’s part, Mourning/grief, Mutual Pining, One-sided feelings, Pidge is a virgin, Porn With Plot, Regret, Sex, This Is Sad, Vaginal Fingering, not really - Freeform, pidgance, pidge is just really lonely, plance, so is lance, voltron season 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-03 03:19:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17276111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hisluckylady/pseuds/hisluckylady
Summary: After the lions leave Altea, Pidge goes back to Lance’s room instead of hers and begs him to use her.





	Bad Idea

They had just finished up their meal and the sun was beginning to fade away. After taking their group picture, the team decided to head in for the night. Everyone helped clean up the table of the dishes to carry them back inside while Lance lingered outside for a bit longer to admire the statue of his true love. A smile spread across his lips. Even after a year of her being gone, he could still feel her presence right beside him. He always loved to stand out here to admire the sculpture and be amazed of the detail shown in the artwork.

The memory still continued to hurt him. Their final goodbye continues to haunt his dreams, and he often wakes up crying because of it. Surrounding himself by Alteans and juniberry flowers only continued to have him mourn even longer. He surrounded himself with the things she cared for, and he still clutches the blue lion plush he won for her close in his arms. It still smelled like her too. Her fragrance haunted him like a ghost. He could often find himself seeing her out of the corner of his eye, but dismiss it as nothing.

He truly missed her. Her sacrifice was noble and the new generation of Alteans will know that for years to come. He was glad that she got what she wanted: to spread peace across the universe and end the Galra’s reign of terror. Even if it meant that she had to give up her life in the process of doing so.

“They really got it right, huh?”

He jumped out of his thoughts from the sudden voice that came from behind him. Lance turned his head to meet the gaze of his small friend. He smiled at her and looked back at the statue. “Yea, they did.”

“It looks just like her. The hair, the armor, the eyes...” Pidge said as stood beside Lance with a smile on her face. “How long are you planning to stay on Altea?”

“Just a few days.” He answered with a sigh. He raised his hand to rub the back of his neck unconsciously out of habit. “I wanna talk to the kids some more and teach them more about her. I want them to know what a wonderful leader she was...”

Her hazel eyes focused on the statue again. She thought about how much she used to envy Allura. She had everything: the long, beautiful hair, smooth skin, slim and tall. Pidge soon came to realize that Allura didn’t have everything she wanted though. Sure, she was incredibly beautiful, but she lost her home and her family. Pidge was glad to have found hers, she just wished Allura was lucky like her meaning that she didn’t have to die to be with the people she cares about.

Another thing Pidge envied about Allura was that Lance was attracted to her. Lance never took a second to admire Pidge, and spent hours and hours going on about how perfect he thought Allura was. She tried her best to ignore his obvious flirtations, but she’d always let out her frustrations when she was alone. Not even Hunk knows about her struggles. She always hated opening up to people, and she still has a hard time doing that now. Everyone was so encouraging when Lance was going out on his date with Allura, Pidge wanted to do the same despite what she felt.

As she looked up at Allura, all she felt was guilt. Pidge wanted Allura to be with Lance because it made him happy, and that’s all she wanted for her friend even if it meant not being with him. Now that Allura was dead, Lance was unhappy again. He wouldn’t admit it, but everyone can see through this persona he tries to keep up. He thinks he has everyone fooled when he says he’s fine.

“Are you okay, Lance?” Pidge asked him suddenly after standing together in silence. She turned her head to look up at him, but his eyes remained on Allura statue. He was staring up at it as if he was expecting an answer to come from the stone structure. Eventually, he lowered his head and cracked a smile. “Is it that obvious?”

“We’re all worried about you. When you say that you’re fine, we know that you’re not actually fine.” She tried to sound as reassuring as possible. She knew she was never really good at talking to people, let alone comforting them. Lance remained silent after she finished speaking so she continued. “It’s okay not to be okay, Lance... no one is asking you to stay strong.”

“I’ve been feeling so fucking lonely, Pidge... and I feel like I have to ignore those feelings and be strong... for her. She wouldn’t want me to mope around about her.” He lifted his head again to look up at the taunting figure standing tall in front of them. “She’d want me to keep my head up high, and be okay.”

“Lance,” Pidge moved in front of him and tried to grab his attention, “She’d want you to move on, and not pretend to be okay. You need to mourn instead of bottling up your emotions. Find a way to... continue on with life while keeping the memory of her. She would want you to find someone new.”

His eyes looked down to her while his head remained up. He caught a look of the sad gaze in her eyes. Lance saw the concern for him inside of her. “But who, Pidge? Who’s gonna wanna be with me?”

 _I do. I wanna be with you._ Pidge wanted to confess. She wanted to release the aching in her heart to him and finally tell him what she’s been feeling ever since they were attending the Garrison. The feelings she kept hidden while in the castle. Pidge wanted to unscrew the lid that kept her desires for him hidden. Those endless nights of her wanting to feel his arms around her and keep her warm. The wet dreams about him that she’d wake up from in cold sweat. Every thought that came to mind about him to be released from her lips and carry her loving words into his ears.

But instead, she smiled confidently and patted his shoulder. “Be with someone who makes you happy.”

Lance stared down at her in awe. He was always so grateful for a friend like Pidge. He leaned down and wrapped his arms around her small frame. She was taken by surprise by the gesture, but she felt herself soon relax and wrap her tiny arms around his waist. “Thanks, Pidge.” She heard him mumble into her hair. Pidge let out a sigh she didn’t know she was holding in. She only hoped he couldn’t feel the sudden increase in her heartbeat. Growing nervous, she pulled away as quick as she could and let out a small laugh. “I’m gonna head inside, you coming?”

“I’m just gonna stay out here for a little bit longer... I’ll see you later?”

“Yea.” She backed away from him. “For sure...” They smiled at each other one last time before Pidge walked around him and down the bridge. She stopped in her tracks to look back at the Cuban who continued to admire the stature. Pidge looked up at her herself, and wondered if her eyes were following her. She frowned to herself and turned back around to continue walking. She wished the best for Lance. She just wished Allura was still in his life so she could see him truly smile again.

Pidge opened the door to the entrance of the castle. The moment she shut the door behind her, Hunk appeared out of nowhere from behind the door. “You and Lance, huh?” He blurted out. Pidge felt herself nearly jump out of her skin from his sudden appearance. She clenched her chest heaving in and out heavily. “Quiznak, Hunk! You scared the shit out of me!”

“It’s nice to see you and Lance getting close again. I figured it was finally time for him to move on with someone ─”

“What? Me and Lance? No! No, no, no, no, no.” She felt herself turning a dark shade of red. “Lance and I are just, and only friends! He’s ─ He’s still in love with her! It’s n-not like I am in love with Lance because, ha, that’s... that’s just ridiculous! The chances of Lance and I getting together are very slim because I wouldn’t even consider it! I don’t like Lance!” Pidge was stuttering out words that were vomiting from her mouth. Any word that her brain could form would just spit out carelessly.

“Who doesn’t like Lance?” Keith came out of nowhere right beside Hunk. Pidge let out a groan and buried her face in her hands.

“Apparently Pidge, but I don’t believe that for a second. I’ve been going through her diary again.” Hunk lifted the familiar brown notebook in his hand with a smirk. Anger fueled within Pidge as she reached out to snatch the object out from Hunk’s hand. “Hunk! I thought we talked about this!”

“Just admit it, Pidge. You have a crush on Lance.”

“Pidge has a crush on Lance?” Shiro came out from behind Pidge. The young girl grew startled and felt her face turning even redder if it was humanely possible. By this time, her face was the shade of the red lion. She was having enough of her privacy being invaded. “That’s it! I’m going to my room! I’ve had enough of this!” She stomped her feet out of the room into the hallway. She somehow managed to find her bedroom. Once she was alone, she let out a frustrated scream and threw her pillow to the wall. She then threw herself on to her bed and buried herself in her blanket trying to forget what just happened. Now her whole team knew what was going on inside her heart of hers. Will they tell Lance? The thought of them knowing continued to frustrate her. After years of keeping it hidden, now they find out?

Pidge clutched to her pillow tightly close to her chest. She felt tears prick at her eyes, but she kept them from spilling. Even if Lance knew, he wouldn’t wanna pursue anything with her. He’d just reject her and say that he’s still not over Allura. He would follow her anywhere, even when she’s dead. The thought scared her. She clutched her pillow close and closed her eyes trying to rest and to keep herself from stressing.

A loud knock on the door interrupted her relaxation. She turned her head towards the door and pouted. “Go away!” She shouted loud enough for the person to hear.

“It’s Shiro.” The older man responded. “Can I please come in?”

Pidge let out a frustrated groan. _Great, another dad talk again. Just what I need._ “Come in!” She reluctantly said and turned her back towards the door. She heard the door slid open, then footsteps approach her bed. There was a heavy weight now pressing on her bed. She kept her eyes on the window in front of her. “Do you wanna talk about it?” She heard Shiro say.

“No.” Pidge simply mumbled.

“Pidge... If you have a crush on Lance ─”

“I don’t!” She cried out and was now sitting up on her bed. “Even if I did, I wouldn’t tell him! Because he still loves Allura and he obviously won’t give up this stupid fantasy of her ─”

“Alright, Katie, calm down. Take a breath.” Shiro placed his hand on her shoulder and tried to calm her down. She breathed in and out as slowly as she could. Once she calmed herself down, she became more upset and looked up at Shiro. “I don’t know what to do, Shiro... He’s never gonna get over her, and I’m never gonna get over him.” She wiped away the tears that were beginning to show in the corner of her eyes.

“Keeping this to yourself isn’t gonna help you.” She groaned as Shiro began his fatherly speech. He rolled his eyes and continued. “It’s been a year now, I’m sure that by now he’d be open to your confession... You should tell him.”

“But I don’t wanna tell him.” She pouted and looked up at the older man.

“If you keep this from him, you’re only going to keep getting hurt. It’s only gonna make you feel worse about yourself. I’m sure with someone else in Lance’s life to love and cherish him, he’ll be able to finally move on... You two can make each other happy, and he doesn’t have to keep wallowing around here in Altea and wish for some magical return.” Shiro frowned. “If you don’t tell him, he’s going to find out eventually, might as well tell him now. You know how Hunk is at keeping secrets.”

Pidge glanced up at Shiro. She frowned and sat up a little bit once she was comfortable. “How did you tell Curtis you liked him?”

Shiro felt his face turn red. He let out an awkward chuckle and ruffled Pidge’s hair as he stood up. “That’s a story that isn’t appropriate for your age.” He started heading towards the door as Pidge began protesting.

“What!? Come on, Shiro! I’m almost 17! What’s the story?” She got on to her knees fully interested. Shiro turned back around to look at her once he reached the doorway. “Talk to him, Pidge. For now, get some rest... I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” He left her room leaving her to her thoughts. Pidge sat back down and glanced around the small Altean room. She moved off the bed and walked over to the window where she spotted Lance still hopelessly staring up at the statue. The wind blew through his brown hair, and she noticed that he shivered a bit from the chill.

Eventually, she watched him turn around and walk back into the castle. She only prayed that the boys wouldn’t mention anything to him. She climbed back into bed and clutched on to her pillow again.

Pidge began to consider the advice Shiro had popped into her head. Should she tell him? Would it help him get over Allura, or would he just use her because he was simply “lonely”? She wasn’t sure if she wanted to find out. Either way, Lance needed the company. But was it his company he was seeking for? All these questions ran through her mind that were left unanswered. It tired her out from how much she was over-thinking the situation.

She began to doubt herself. She thought she wasn’t nearly as pretty as Allura. There was no way her beauty compared to hers. She felt that Lance would only be downgrading if he got with her. All these negative thoughts crept into her mind and began to upset her.

Pidge heard the soft footsteps of Lance walking down the hall. He must be turning in early for the night as well. The sun was already gone and the orange hues outside were beginning to fade. She quickly picked herself up and scurried over to the door. She pressed her ear against it, hearing his soft footsteps fade away as he entered his room. She could hear his door slide shut and the small click of his lock. Soon, she changed out of her clothes and into her pajamas. She dragged herself back into the bed and wrapped her arms around her pillow again seeking comfort.

She was lonely too. Pidge spent countless nights in the Garrison either alone in her lab working on Chip, or she’d be alone in her room reading a book or simply working on new tech. Did she ever get any sleep? Pidge truly believed she was living off of coffee. Eventually, she felt the tiredness in her eyes consume her as she slowly drifted off to sleep comfortably clinging to her pillow.

 

When they all awoke in the middle of the night to witness the lions coming to life on their own, it took everyone’s breath away. Sadness began to wash over them as they soon realized that this was their farewell to the lions. They were beginning to leave them since their journey has come to an end. With Allura now gone, the blue lion stood tall amongst the others and stared down at Lance. Pidge glanced over to him and watched as tears filled his eyes with his Altean markings glowing a bright blue. It saddened her.

In a moment, the lions vanished into the sky completely disappearing. They were gone within a second. In that moment, Pidge felt a void disappearing within her. She could no longer feel Green’s presence within her. She clutched to her chest, finding nothing to hold on to. She began to feel lonelier, and that upset her deeply. She frowned at the blank sky that was now covered in stars.

“Does anyone else feel kind of... lonely?” Hunk spoke up after a moment of silence. Everyone turned their heads to look at him. Lance only chuckled softly. “Buddy, I’ve been feeling that way for the past year... This feeling is different. I’m beginning to feel ─”

“Empty.” Pidge finished for Lance. Everyone turned to look down at the green paladin. She looked to all her older friends and shrugged. “I guess we’re... no longer paladins, huh?”

“No.” Shiro stepped forward and placed his hand on Keith’s shoulder. The team looked towards their ex-leader. “You guys will always be paladins... you don’t need your lions in order to be one.”

“You too, Shiro.” Keith smiled up at his mentor.

“I guess we should head back...” Lance said as he felt his cheek where the glow once was. Everyone took one last look at the sky before entering back into the castle again. They all said goodnight to each other as they reached their hall. Pidge and Lance were the last ones outside. Before they could enter their rooms, Pidge turned around to look at him. “Lance?” He turned around at his name. “Are you okay?”

She heard a sigh leave his lips. Lance glanced at the floor then back up at her eyes. “No... but it’s like you said, it’s okay to not be okay, right?”

She smiled at him when he told her goodnight, and she continued to stand at her door debating if the idea in her head was a good one. She frowned at his door and decided that it wasn’t a good idea. She walked back inside her room and heard the door close behind her. As she stood in her room, she continued to feel this empty pit in her stomach. Green was gone and Pidge could no longer feel their connection. She felt so isolated and lonely it was beginning to get to her head. She climbed into bed trying to ignore the feeling, but she couldn’t.

She wanted to cry. Did the lions really leave? Is this the end of Voltron?

Pidge sat up on her bed and glanced at the door once more. She concluded that she was in fact lonely, and so was Lance. Her heart was beginning to race as she began to imagine what they could be doing together instead of being alone. She wanted to be with him.

_He’s going to find out eventually, might as well just tell him now._

Shiro was right. Better late than never. Pidge felt her feet carry her to her door. She exited her room and walked down the hall to his door. She felt herself hesitate, but she eventually knocked quietly so the others wouldn’t hear her. It took a couple ticks, but eventually his door opened. Lance stood there dumbfounded as he looked down at Pidge. “Hey? What’s wrong?” He sounded tired. Pidge began to think this was a bad idea, but she was already there. If only she could actually open her mouth and speak to him.

Her mouth hung open unable to find the words to say. She just stared into his eyes, wide and afraid. She was scared of his rejection.

“Are you okay?” He spoke up again making her shiver. Pidge didn’t wanna tell him. She didn’t wanna say what she had to say to him. She kept looking at those Altean marks on his cheeks. She cursed at herself for doing this. What would Allura think? Pidge felt herself betraying her best friend by confessing to Lance. Her mind continued to race debating if she should tell him. His expression grew more confused when Pidge just wasn’t speaking.

The young girl decided that she didn’t want to tell him. Instead, she’ll just show him.

Before Lance could react, he felt Pidge throw herself on to him and smash their lips together. Her feet was barely on the ground and her arms were tightly wrapped around his neck for support. He froze under her touch and stumbled a bit from the impact. He kept an arm around her to keep her from falling. Eventually, Lance stumbled back into his bed and pulled Pidge apart from him. The door had closed on it’s own.

“Pidge, what are you doing?” Pidge winced at his question. It sounded harsh and confused. She stood shyly in front of him as he was sitting up on his bed frowning at her. She looked down at her feet to avoid his eyes. “I just need someone... tonight.” She mumbled.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m lonely too, Lance!” She snapped her head back up to look at him. “I... I don’t wanna be alone tonight. I wanna be here with you.” She stepped closer so their faces were only inches apart. She gently placed a hand on his arm, but he kept his at his sides. He didn’t wanna move forward with anything. He wasn’t sure if that’d be right for Pidge, or Allura. Apart of him felt like he was cheating on Allura, even though she’s dead.

“Okay... we can just lie down together in my bed ─”

“I wanna do more!” Pidge suddenly blurted out as her face heated up. She was acting like an absolute child right now and was begging for something she couldn’t have. She knew she sounded ridiculous, but she kept trying. Her hand slid up his shoulder, and she placed her other hand on the other side. She began to climb on top of his lap and straddled herself on top of him.

“Pidge.” He warned her, but he didn’t do anything to stop her. His hormones were instead beginning to cloud his judgment. He kept his hands off her out of respect since he felt that this wasn’t right. He wasn’t sure if he didn’t want do this because he respected Pidge, or because he was still in love with Allura. Either way, he felt this was a bad idea. Pidge thought so too, yet she kept on insisting.

Her head lowered as she leaned in. Her lips gently brushed across his neck and she felt him shiver. She moved on hand from his shoulder to cup his cheek as he planted small kisses on his neck. The soft sighs escaping his lips gave her the hint that he was enjoying it. _Just keep going,_ she thought to herself, _just like in the movies._ She wasn’t sure what she was doing, but she was going off of what she’s read, and what she’s seen in movies.

She moved her trail of kisses up to his jaw, going down the line on to his chin. She was close to his lips, but before she could reach them he stopped her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back. “I can’t do this, Pidge... Not with you.” He frowned down at her. He knew his feelings for her weren’t the same, and he didn’t wanna hurt her. He was too close of a friend to him and doing this will only destroy her. “I don’t wanna hurt you.” He mumbled.

Pidge shifted a bit in his lap. That’s when she felt something poking at her right underneath her core. She shifted again to see if it was what she thought, and the groan leaving Lance’s lips answered for her. He grabbed her thighs to keep her from moving. “Stop, Pidge, I can’t ─”

“Your mouth says one thing while your body says another.” Pidge said confidently. She pushed herself down on him and felt it harden against the thin layers between them. His breath hitched when she did so. She noticed his eyes were growing foggy as the moment continued to cloud his judgment. She was so close to convincing him.

Lance let out a raspy breath as he tried to focus his mind on something else, but he couldn’t. His mind was screaming her name, but he wanted to think of Allura. When he felt her hips roll against him again, he grabbed her hips to stop her. “Pidge,” He warned again, “I told you...” He sounded so sad, but so eager. He couldn’t bring himself to look at her because he’d know he wouldn’t be able to say no to her. He felt her hand on his cheek, and his eyes opened to look down at her. The light from the moon shined upon her hazel eyes. She looked... beautiful. Her hair was a perfect mess, and he could count all the individual freckles on her skin.

She rolled her hips once, and that sent him over the edge.

He grabbed her under the arms and threw her on to his bed. Pidge began to think he had enough of her games, and she felt herself become guilty. Before she could register what was happening, he was already on top of her. He positioned himself between her legs, and he stared down at her while hovering over her. They were both lonely. He just wanted a bit of comfort, and Pidge was willing to give him what he needed.

“Lance, I ─” He didn’t let her finish. His lips caught her mouth and the two shared a hunger filled kiss. There was no love, or passion. It was a lust filled kiss that came from Lance’s eager part of him who only wanted to screw her the way she wanted him to. He pressed his weight on to her while he felt her arms wrap around his neck. The two eased into each other easily and Lance completely forgot what he was protesting against. The girl laying underneath him was so _open_ to doing this with him. She clung on to him tightly and wrapped her legs around his waist to keep him where he was.

Lance’s hand lifted her shirt a bit to reveal her pale stomach. She shivered a bit from his cold hands, but she eventually got used to it. She felt his hands roam up her chest to clasp her breaths. She had forgotten she decided not to wear a bra to sleep since it didn’t matter due to how flat chested she was. It didn’t seem to bother Lance when she felt his hands cup them tenderly. She pulled away from his lips to to breath again, while his lips connected to her neck. He left hickeys all over the right side of her neck. She didn’t complain; she thought it was sort of like branding her. His hands continued to hold on to her petite breasts, his thumbs teasingly rubbing against her nipples.

She felt him pull her up into a sitting position. He grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head revealing her exposed chest. She shyly covered herself unconsciously. She had never been naked in front of anyone before, let alone Lance. Pidge had always felt self-conscious about her body. She was always small and flat and never had the curves that Allura did.

Lance didn’t praise her body like she had thought he would, or make her feel like the beautiful girl she was. He was too busy being horny and just wanting to fuck. That was Pidge’s mindset earlier, but a little passion would be nice too. He pulled his shirt off before pinning her back down to the bed. His hands were gripping her wrists tightly and pressing them down to the mattress. His eyes glazed over her freckled body, and she stared up at him with a child-like innocence. This was wrong, right? She didn’t care. She didn’t want to care until after this was over.

He kept staring, and that scared her. She cleared her throat and spoke up, “Lance?” She only hoped he didn’t hear her voice crack. Lance’s gaze snapped back up to her hazel irises. She watched his face soften once he realized the situation. He let go of her wrists but kept himself hovered over her. Apart of him wanted to run out of the room and get some fresh air, but his heart told him to stay. He couldn’t be a coward in this situation. He had already gone this far; he shouldn’t abandon her now.

“Pidge...” He hesitantly brought his hand up to caress her cheek. His thumb smoother over her freckles and he stared at her swollen lips that he had kissed earlier so fiercely. He forgot to be gentle. He forgot who he was for a moment. Regret began to wash over him and she could see it in his eyes. She began to shake her head and try to plead with him that it was okay ─ that _she_ was alright. Lance straightened up and sat back down on the bed with his back turned to her. Pidge stared at the back of his head. He was slumped over his knees and thinking hard about the situation.

Her eyes began to water, and she held her breath to keep a sob from escaping her lips. She didn’t want to make him feel worse. This was her fault after all. She convinced him move forward with this.

Pidge gently picked herself up into a sitting position. She then slowly began to crawl over to him and stayed behind him. She admired his broad shoulders and toned muscles up close through the darkness. She made her place behind him and, hesitantly, wrapped her arms around his chest while she pressed her cheek against his upper back. Her petite breasts pressed against his back as well and felt his warmth spread throughout her. He let a sigh leave his lips, like a sense of release he was holding in. She felt him relax under her touch. Maybe he was picturing Allura caressing him like those late nights at the Garrison. She didn’t mean to, but she always walked by his room to pick up on their conversations.

Pidge cursed at herself under her breath. This wasn’t right, and the thought kept repeating in her head. They could stay like this all night, but she didn’t want that. She wanted more. She straightened up a bit and set her chin down upon his shoulder. Her hands were still placed on his chest. She looked at his face to see that his eyes were closed, and his brows were furrowed and looked like he was concentrating. He was concentrating on her. “Just tonight.” She mumbled close to his ear. That’s when he opened his eyes and stared at something that he pretended to be interested in on the floor. “We’ll be together just for tonight... and we’ll never talk about it again.” It hurt to say. She almost felt herself break down for saying those words, but he didn’t seem to notice. Lance stayed still for a moment, and it was like she could see the gears shifting in his mind as he considered it. 

“Are you sure?” He asked her with concern in his tone of voice.

 _No._ “Yes.” She breathed out the answer too confidentially. She waited for him to turn so she could jump into his open arms, but he sat still instead. She felt like they were sitting like that forever. Eventually, he made a movement which caused her to unwrap her arms from around him. He turned to look through her, not at her. Lance knew that if he looked into those piercing eyes, he wouldn’t be able to go through with it. He would be reminded of what he was doing to her.

He leaned in towards her, more slowly this time. Pidge sat still waiting for him to make the move this time. She felt herself growing impatient. His lips gently brushed against hers. She almost leaned forward, but she kept still. Pidge could feel him breath on her. Lance’s eyes were glued to her lips while he teasingly kept their faces close. Eventually, he went in and caught her lower lip. She let out a happy moan when the two began to kiss. It was different from the first one. This one felt smooth and bittersweet and... fake. He turned his head to deepen the kiss as the heat began to built up. His tongue brushed against her lower lip, and she opened her mouth a bit wider allowing him to slip his tongue into her mouth. She felt so inexperienced under his touch. He obviously knew what he was doing while she didn’t.

He was feeding sweet lies into her mouth, and she loved it. She ignored her aching heart as it begged for her to stop to save her from the heartbreak, but she was too caught up in the moment. Pidge was enjoying herself too much. She was going to hate him for this even though it would be her fault. She was going to be angry at herself for allowing this. That didn’t matter right now. What mattered was fulfilling the others needs.

Lance gently laid her down on her back. He kissed her one last time before pulling away with a trail of saliva following. His hands grabbed the waistband of her pajama pants and he slowly began to pull them down to reveal her milky legs. Once those were off, he followed next by pulling down his own sweats. She waited for him submissively.

His hands easily grasped to her underwear, and he pulled them down with no hesitation. She spread apart her legs while a blush crept up to her cheeks. She looked away, embarrassed by herself. She was already pretty wet from the earlier events with his erection constantly pressing down on her swollen lips. She could already feel her clit throbbing for his touch. He traced his fingers down the inside of her thigh and gradually made his way down to her folds. She felt her breath get caught in her throat. She grabbed a fistful of the sheets preparing herself for the amount of pleasure she was about to face.

While he leaned down to get a taste of her, her mind flashed somewhere else...

_Pidge stared out at the stars thoughtfully. She began to connect them together and create constellations in her mind. It was a way for her to past the time. There was a lot of people aboard the Atlas, but Pidge found it better to be by herself. She was alone with her thoughts and her brain whiz which kept her entertained._

_“Mind if I join you, Pidge?”_

_Her head turned to the Altean princess who was now standing by her. Maybe some company wouldn’t hurt. Pidge smiled at her friend and nodded, patting a spot next to the floor beside her. “Sure. I’m just looking at the stars.”_

_“They sure are lovely today...” Her voice trailed off as her eyes caught sight of them. The two sat together in silence as they watched the black sky lit by tiny glowing stars. Pidge grew comfortable with it, but Allura seemed to be bothered. The older Altean cleared her throat catching Pidge’s attention._

_“Pidge... I feel this entity inside of me blossoming. It is beginning to infect me, and I’m afraid that something... terrible will happen to me. If not soon, eventually.” Allura looked worried. Pidge has seen the princess in many distressful situations, but she’s never seen her so scared in this moment. “I’ve come to terms with it, but I know many others on the team won’t... especially Lance.”_

_Pidge hasn’t thought about Lance in awhile. She decided that she should ignore her feelings for him while he is dating the woman sitting right beside her. Now that Allura is mentioning this to her, Pidge couldn’t help but frown at the thought of Lance living without Allura. The thought began to worry her._

_“What makes you think I can handle you being gone? I... I’ll miss you, Allura, we all will.” Pidge felt herself wanting to cry, but she stayed strong not wanting to frighten her friend even more._

_“Pidge, I’ve noticed something between you and Lance... you two have this connection that I don’t think I’ll ever begin to understand. He trusts you, and he’s going to need someone like you when I am gone...”_

_“But you won’t be gone.” Pidge protested. “You’ll be fine...”_

_Allura smiled sadly down at Pidge. “If only I could truly believe that...” She frowned. “Pidge, please... I want you to take care of Lance for me when I am gone. Watch over him, be there for him, never let him feel lonely... He’ll need you, even if he doesn’t realize it then, but he will eventually.”_

_“But, Princess ─”_

_“Promise me, Pidge.” Allura urged. “Promise me.”_

_Pidge felt that she couldn’t really say no to her. They both wanted the best for Lance. The young girl let out a sigh and nodded. “I promise.”_

That _promise_ is what put her in the situation she is in now. Pidge let out a loud, shaky moan as she felt herself close to the edge now. Lance was pumping two fingers into her vagina while he sucked on her clit. His tongue flicked it occasionally and he would lick up the juices that’d pool out of her. She shivered violently as her body was overwhelmed with pleasure. Her face was flushed and her body trickled with sweat. Lance worked on her pussy so well that she felt herself so close to an orgasm, but he stopped before she could.

“Lance.” She panted heavily. Her eyes were hazy and her brain wasn’t functioning that well. She was lost in the moment for a bit. Lance pulled her forward a bit as he positioned himself in between her. She hadn’t even noticed when he pulled off his briefs and exposed his fully erect cock. Before she knew it, she felt the tip slowly begin to push her folds apart. A pained whimper left her lips while she closed her eyes shut. He kept pushing himself in and the pain continued to increase. Her back arched to try and distract herself from the pain now soaring throughout her. She bit her bottom lip so hard, she could taste her blood.

“Fuck,” She rasped out heaving her chest heavily. She wasn’t sure if she was seeing stars on the ceiling.

“Pidge, are you ─”

“Yes! I’m fine! Just... just keep going.” Pidge could barely form words at this point. She closed herself preparing for him to pull back. She felt him move inside her as he began to pull out and push back in, filling her up. Her mouth hung open as wordless ramblings mixed with moans left her lips. He was going at such a slow pace which was good, until he adjusted himself and started going faster. He kept his head down as he watched his cock pull in and out of her. Her pussy looked more pink and swollen the faster he went.

Lance gripped tightly on to her hips and lifted her up higher once he grew comfortable with the pace. He began to pound into her and filling her completely with his ball sack slamming into her. She kept on moaning and basically screaming her head off. There were tears coming down her cheeks. It gave her an excuse to cry now. Lance tried to quiet her down by capturing her mouth with his lips. She was moaning against his mouth as the two shared another kiss together. Electricity sparked between them. The pain was eventually replaced with pleasure and she covered her mouth to quiet her moans. She couldn’t risk waking everyone up.

While Lance continued, he noticed a red liquid beginning to ooze out of her. That’s when it hit him. He began to register what was happening. He slowed down to a stop and looked down into her gorgeous hazel eyes that were wide with adrenaline. “Pidge,” he began with guilt in his voice, “Are you... a virgin?”

She stayed quiet while looking back up at him. She was breathing hard and her eyes were lidded. Pidge closed her eyes and slowly nodded. Lance was now feeling like a complete asshole. He began to shake his head and apologize a bunch of times. Pidge kept reminding him it was okay, but he wasn’t listening.

“Jesus, Pidge, I’m so fucking sorry... Why didn’t you ─”

“Lance! Please! Just keep going!” She said irritably. She moved her hair out of her face when it began to stick with the sweat.

“No, Pidge, I can’t ─”

“You already took my virginity,” She frowned, “might as well just finish the job.”

Lance kept staring down at her in horror from himself. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, cursing at himself in anger. The young girl continued to cry, not from the pain welling up from her core but from the breaking of her heart. He hesitated for a moment, but eventually continued on with his pace while he continuously apologized. Pidge reached up, and brought him down to her. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he continued to swiftly move inside of her. His cock dragged against her walls making her clench tightly and shiver.

She buried her face into the crook of his neck feeling the vibrations of his groans and grunts. Pidge bit down into his shoulder to muffle her own cries of pain. He was going faster than she could keep up with. He was drilling into her and she was fine with it. The sweet ecstasy of him being inside her threw her over the edge. Her walls clenched down around him while her first orgasm washed over her. Pidge arched her back into him and her body trembled while releasing a loud scream. He kept thrusting into her extending her period of overwhelming pleasure.

Eventually he joined her, getting lost in the moment and forgetting to pull out as he came inside of her. He filled her up with his cum and felt it spilling out of her. The two shared one final passionate kiss as they moaned against each other’s mouths. They pulled apart gasping, and Lance tiredly lied down against her. Their sticky bodies fit into one another as the heat began to die down. Pidge felt more tears coming down her cheeks once the moment was over. It was back to reality. She just wanted him to stay in her arms for a bit longer. Lance slowly pulled himself out of her and sat up on the bed. He avoided her gaze, and she avoided his. Silence began to creep over then hauntingly. Pidge looked out the window and caught one lonely star shining in the dark of the night. She felt like that star in that moment.

“I think you should go back to your room... before the others discover you’re missing.” She heard Lance say, but she wasn’t completely listening. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed he turned his head to look at her. Pidge slowly turned her head to meet his eyes. He had so much guilt and regret, he didn’t even bother to cover it up. Pidge wanted to cry even harder now. She couldn’t bare to look at him any longer, and she immediately looked away and nodded with a knot forming in her throat.

He began to dress himself quickly. Once he finished, he grabbing her articles of clothing and tossed them to her. Once they were in her reach, she too dressed herself in a hurry. She slid off his bed while he sat down. “See you...” She mumbled quietly while she made her way towards the door. She felt her panties soaking with their cum. She hadn’t even bothered to clean herself up. She could feel it dripping down her leg, and it disgusted her. She told herself she had to take the morning after pill when she returned to Earth in the morning.

When she reached the door, she couldn’t bring herself to open it. The heat of their sex was still radiating in the room. Pidge turned to look at him, and he was staring at her so intently. He looked at her like this fragile human being ready to break at any moment. Pidge ran towards him and kissed him one more time. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in. Even this kiss didn’t feel real after everything. Why did she keep doing this to herself?

Pidge pulled away and rested her forehead on his. They both had their eyes closed to avoid looking at each other. After what seemed like hours long of silence, Lance spoke up first, “Goodnight, Pidge...”

She felt a sob escape her lips. This caused Lance to hold on to her tighter when he felt his own tears threaten to spill. He swallowed down the knot in his throat. “Goodnight, Lance...” She spoke breathlessly. She slowly stepped back and turned around before she could look at him. She escaped his room and ran down the hall to hers. Once she entered, she was hit by this sudden cold feeling. It no longer felt warm anymore. Now, she was back to where she first started: cold, and alone.

Pidge began to cry harder now. She sank to her weak knees and cried on her floor. She hugged herself because she was the only person that she had right now. The loneliness crept into her heart and she hated herself for feeling so corrupt. This was her fault, and she told herself from the beginning. She wanted to take it all back. She cursed at herself for going on his room and convincing her to take him. Pidge wanted to forget whatever happened and move on with her life. She never wanted to see Lance again.

Pidge knew he didn’t love her. And she figured that he never will.

**Author's Note:**

> Please kudos my work and leave a comment if you enjoyed it :)


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